Friday, December 10, 2010

Kings of Leon to horribly disappoint SA fans

I am so sick of hearing how incredibly excited silly girls are that the Kings of Leon are coming to South Africa. They are not. The Kings of Leon died a horrible death on the release of Only By the Night and their rotting carcasses were usurped by a band of simpering pussies. Those silly little girls wouldn't even know who the hell the Kings are (they still don't, not really) if one of their singles didn't happen to have 'sex' in the title.
As if the trite, popularised bullshit that was Only By the Night wasn't bad enough, these usurpers of the throne have pissed out what is easily the most boring album ever made by anyone – Come Around Sundown. And yes, I'm including Celine Dion. What's next? Raindrops on Roses? Whiskers on Kittens? Try to keep a little dignity, you sorry wankers.
The first single off the album, Radioactive, is beyond disappointing and frankly is no different from the twelve other mindless, insipid, dull tracks on this excuse for an album. The video is just as bad. Social consciousness is all good and well, but from the likes of KOL – a band that started out with a truly authentic voice – it just inspires mild queasiness. A small black child in the arms of a gruff Southern type such as Caleb Followill should inspire fear and trepidation, not embarrassment. It certainly does not inspire compassion.
This new wave of KOL arsewater is without a doubt the final nail in their already studded coffin. What happened to the raw power of Four Kicks? The sordid despair of Trani? The savage fury of Joe's Head? Hell, I'd take the smutty angst of I Want You over the indifferent balls up that is Come Around Sundown. And I use the word 'balls' in the only way it can now be used in relation to KOL.
And now these washed up losers, devoid of any validity or integrity, are finally coming to South Africa. And they expect us to cough up close to R600 for a golden circle ticket? Maybe in 2005, when the Followills had more backbone than sense. Or when a few pigeon droppings wouldn't have scared them off stage. Perhaps the saddest of all is that those tickets have sold out. Sometimes the masses really are depressing.
One can't help but feel the pigeons of St Louis had a point. Poo on you, Kings of Leon. Grow your hair back, stop bathing, do a few bumps with that trannie at the bus station and perhaps, like Samson, your awesome powers will return too. - C

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