Dance, You’re on Fire: The next big thing

By Andrea Vermaak

I’ve seldom been wrong at predicting a great future for certain bands. Now I am telling you that the next big thing to watch out for is Dance, You’re on Fire. Currently on tour, promoting their debut album Secret Chiefs, the Joburg-based boys do not only have an album of top notch production quality, but they bring much needed, fresh energy and enthusiasm to the South African stage with their rock ‘n roll meets indie vibe.

Dance, You're on Fire being awfully sombre

Their relaxed, happy-go-lucky attitude, charm and sense of humour is present both on and off stage. They have a no pretense, no nonsense attitude. There is still a sense of humility and gratefulness that so many bands push aside and forget about too soon. It’s almost as if they don’t know how great they are and can be. My only hope is that they keep this attitude because then they will go even further than even I can predict.

Super enthused lead singer and guitarist, Tom Manners, has been likened to the voices of Panic! At The Disco and Fall Out Boy. And rightly so. But the boys describe their music as far more creative, yet still accessible. Their rocking second single, Boxes of Tigers is currently number five on the Tuks FM Top 30 and number two on The Sondag Tuks FM Most Wanted Listener Top 20.

Dance, You’re on Fire opened for aKING at Tings 'n Times in Pretoria on Friday, 1 April 2011. They had an excitable crowd dancing and singing along to not only Boxes of Tigers, but to their first single Blockade and title song Secret Chiefs. Their debut performance of Michelle added something sweet to sway to in their set of power guitar songs. Speaking of which, guitarist Adrian Erasmus is a seriously great guitarist of whom any other SA band should be jealous!

Secret Chiefs is currently available online at www.danceyoureonfire.co.za and at their gigs, as well as at certain music outlets in Gauteng. Secret Chiefs is going to be launched in Germany, Austria and Switzerland in early June this year. Next stop, the world! 

Tour dates are also available online. If Dance, You’re on Fire is performing in your area, you simply have to check them out! When they go big, as I predict, you can say that I told you so!

Fulka The Mystery of the Seven Stars album launch at Tings: Fun folks and fun folk

It was Wednesday and it was fun, fun, fun.

Fulka are just cool. From giving cupcakes to those buying their merch, hiding present packets with suckers and free cd downloads throughout the venue to lead singer Ola Kobak’s doll-like dance moves and the fact that the majority of the band can play the banjo, they exude awesome. However, it is not only this intrinsic charm that will see them – and has seen them – gaining massive popularity. Damn are the folks of Fulka talented!

Bubbly and sassy, Ola sings sweetly while a fusion of the folk and electronic sounds of the band surround her. Soon it’s time for the first instrument swop, one of many these multi-skilled kids pull off. Pretty, while at the same time punchy, Fulka’s songs are full of melody and melodramatics, with a hint of mystery. Simple yet distinctive and multifaceted, their sound is quiet but penetrating. Their album is beautifully produced and world class. It’s available for listening and download here: http://fulka.bandcamp.com/.

The only criticism I have is the lack of smoothness in their act. There were a couple of times where swopping instruments and tuning and microphone issues jarred the sleekness of their performance, but I have no doubt that this will soon be sorted, leaving a playful performance with credibility and class.

The equally talented Isochronous opened for Fulka, playing a tight acoustic set to an attentive and eager crowd which soaked in their polished progressive synth-rock sound gone raw while sitting cross-legged on the floor. Isochronous never disappoint, and when acoustic they add depth and flavour to their already well-rounded sound.

RAMfest Jo’burg: Good times on a “grassy fucking knoll”

If you felt like moshing last Saturday night RAMfest was the place to be! With pitiful support for the local acts the mosh pit started off slowly with a few scrawny boys pushing each other around during Not My Dog and ended with Funeral for a Friend demanding a Wall of Death on the “grassy fucking knoll”.

Sadly missing the always-awesome Desmond and the Tutus, and luckily just missing Knave which seems to think copying Jared Leto’s tragic swearing tirades on stage is a good idea ("fuck yeah!" would be their reply), the first band I caught following arrival, beer-getting and cursing the heat was Isochronous. A good, chilled start to the day, the band showed their immense talent with a spectacular set of accessible electronic rock overlaid with choir-singer sounding lead Richard‘s enchanting vocals.

Next, I stumbled upon Dance You’re on Fire on a second teeny tiny stage behind the beer tent on hearing their stellar track Boxes of Tigers being belted out. Upbeat and rocking all the way, the band had the couple of people there going mental.

Following a forgettable set by Zebra & Giraffe, Not My Dog reignited my excitement in a big way. The first gig the band has played in years and they were as awesome as I remember them. Hitting the stage hard and playing classics like Ek is verslaaf and Safari Music, Not My Dog were my personal highlight of the day.

Not being a fan, I gave Van Coke Kartel a skip, but made sure I was right up front for Alkaline Trio and Funeral for a Friend. Both bands meant business, bringing it hard and heavy from track one. The sound was a bit dodgy in places but finally a decent-sized crowd had formed – the first of the day. Alkaline Trio warmed the crowd up with their punk rock punchiness but it was Funeral for a Friend that really brought it. Orchestrating a massive mosh pit circle in front of the stage, the band attacked the crowd with colossal energy and huge sounds.

Aching legs and a sudden onslaught of a bad cough are sure signs of an awesome festival and I woke up with both the morning after RAMfest Jo’burg 2011.

The 12th International Cape Town Jazz Festival - SA at its stellar best

Grammy winner Esperanza Spalding

Jazz is a massive part of South African culture. It has an impressive record for bringing like-minded individuals together, no matter their creed or situation. It is second only to gospel in it's SA popularity.

The SA jazz industry is also streets ahead of, well, everyone else, in terms of artist development, effective punting, and consistent delivery of quality choons. Oh yes, jazz leads the way. It's not surprising then, that even our Prez JZ gave The International Cape Town Jazz Festival a nod when opening parliament in February.

BeBe Winans

Even if you know balls about jazz, there are big names to make the day pass worth it. With appearances from legends such as Hugh Masekela, Earth, Wind & Fire and BeBe Winans, as well as relative newcomers Tumi & the Volume and Esperanza Spalding, there's little doubt as to the quality of ICTJF's offerings this year. High energy and good choons go without saying. If you're not too sure about forking out R500 for an artform you're not sure of, you can always attend the free warm up concert on 23 March at Green Market Square.

Going into their 12th year, the ICTJF has made a name for itself internationally and is a massive draw to tourists. This year it takes place on 25 & 26 March. Tickets go for R369 (day pass) to R499 (weekend pass) and are available from the website: http://www.capetownjazzfest.com/

Lineup:

Wayne Shorter Quartet with Danilo Perez, John Patitucci and Brian Blade; Earth, Wind and Fire (left); Dave Koz; Youssou N’dour; Simphiwe Dana; Ivan Mazuze; Sandra Cordera; Christian Scott; Patricia Barber; Dave Ledbetter and the Clearing; Lisa Bauer; Hanjin; Esperanza Spalding; Hubert Laws; The Flames – Official Reunion; Gang of Instrumentals; Gazelle; Monique Bingham; Danilo Perez & John Patitucci; Jack van Poll, James Scholfield and Hein van Geyn; Guitafrika {Steve Newman, Eric Triton and Alhousseini Mohamed Anivolla; Cape Town Tribute Band {Nick Williams, Wesley Rustin and Denver; Furness} joined by Buddy Wells, Mike Perry, Errol Dyers, Ian Smith and Sylvia Mdunyelwa; Conversations {Victor Masondo, Prince Lengoasa, Kevin Gibson, Mark Fransman and Donvino Prins}; Chieli Minucci; Special EFX; Chuck Loeb; Carmen Cuesta; Cindy Blackman – Santana; Tony Williams; BeBe Winans; Hugh Masekela and Larry Willis; Don Laka; Jazzanova {Paul Randolph}; Feya Faku; Tortured Soul; Orlando Venhereque; Tumi and The Volume; Naima McLean; Songbook {Lwanda Gogwana}; Sekunjalo Edujazz Band; Citie; Chad Saaiman; Mathew Moolman; Lloyd Jansen

Check out some of the acts at:http://www.capetownmagazine.com/out/Lineup-for-Cape-Town-International-Jazz-Festival/116_22_11716

U2 360˚ Tour – An experience beyond words

We love contributors! The awesome Andrea Vermaak had this to say about U2’s recent appearance. Personally blindblimp is against Bono's self-righteous interfering personality, but we can’t refute U2’s legendaryness. Over to Andrea…

 

The phrase “epic proportions” does not cut it when it comes to the surreal U2 360˚ Tour experience. On Sunday 13 February 2011 not only did the band put on a show that stops all shows in the electrifying atmosphere of FNB Stadium in Soweto, but the monstrous, futuristic, 360˚ stage which seemed to take up half the field could have performed a show on its own and people would have paid to watch it.

The show in its entirety gives “mind-blowing” new meaning. Everyone watch in complete awe and jaws dropped to knees as colourful light and crystal clear sound was dispersed from all corners of the stage. This world record holding concert stage includes a four-legged supporting rig – nicknamed The Claw – a cylindrical video screen which expands, contracts, and moves up and down; rotating bridges between the stage; and a circular ramp which surrounded the stage. Even the drum platform rotates! It truly is a spectacular work of design genius that no one has seen the likes of before.

But, enough about the special effects. Everyone knows that U2 are social activists, promoting equality and peace. Bono delivered strong messages about the state of our world without the cheese that one would expect from a celeb. His drive for universal unity is genuine and sincere, and there is no better tool, in my opinion, than to deliver a message of hope through the power of shared emotions that one experiences through music. Carefully chosen images, maps, flags and words littered the 360˚ screen to bring the message home, including an especially filmed video message from Archbishop Desmond Tutu.

If you were there, I am sure that you will agree that there really are no adjectives yet in existence to describe the experience. Unless you were there, you really have no idea of exactly how jealous you should be of those who were.

No doubt is left in my mind that all other shows that I watch in the future will pale in comparison. No other show will stimulate as many of my senses again and leave me with the feeling of complete, fuzzy happiness and wanting more – unless U2 performs again. You must admit that it would be right of me to wonder: “What will U2 pull out next?”

Copy and photography by Andrea Vermaak

Rammstein – A performance of Explosive proportions

Here it is as promised. The first contribution from our new contributor, Tanith. Rammstein review to boot.

An idea of the eyebrow-removal technique
employed by Rammstein fans

German Industrial Metallers forced themselves on a very willing Joburg audience on 11 Feb 2011.

The air oozed with Goth Rocker excitement. The lights go out and the madness begins. No MC. No opening act. All because of the amount of pyrotechnics on and around the stage. But singeing the audience's eyebrows and nose hairs was of little concern. The stage was intimidating enough without knowing that it might explode at any minute.

True to their international reputation the show was one colossal explosion of heat, awesome and flames. Being quite a distance from the stage didn’t mean I was left out of feeling the heat from the flame thrower. I’m pretty sure those who were lucky enough to be right up front are still blowing ash from various orifices.

My only crit of the whole event is that if a Goth Rocker giant stood in front of you, you were buggered for a decent view. This proved a problem as most of the crowd were freakishly tall.

Explosions, flame throwers, extreme loudness and a near intimidating stage presence. Haven’t moshed that hard and that long since the good ol’ Zeplins days in the middle of Pretoria.

AGH Soweto Sessions: Celebrating Mzansi

The really nzima thing about South Africa is the sheer range of talent we have, and music we offer. Our musicians are experimental, innovative and multifaceted. And quite often ahead of the curve. They dabble in everything from blues and jazz, to hip hop, to rock, to traditional jams. And sometimes all of them at the same time. SA is never quite as Rainbow as it is when it's singing.

The AGH Soweto sessions celebrate just this glorious phenomenon.

Based at Dorothy Nyembe Park in Soweto, and ongoing throughout 2011, the Soweto Sessions aim to give voice to SA artists just striking out into the limelight, as well as artists better known to the punters. Well, who can argue with a vision like that?

The sessions take place (or so we're told) on the first Sunday of every month in 2011. Tickets are around R30 and the setup is chilled. You're welcome to bring a picnic basket and a few dozen friends and just relax while the music goes on in the background.

Aimed more at the jazz, blues, roots aesthetic, the AGH Soweto Sessions promise an eclectic mix of South African talent and a good afternoon out.

Tickets are available on http://www.ticketbreak.co.za/sowetosessions

Get your ass to a Campus Invasion near you!

Campus Invasion 2011 is upon us, having completed the Potch leg and moving on to Maties tomorrow, 4 Feb.

It's hard to imagine a better way to kick off the year than Campus Invasion. The franchise is by now famous for it's contribution to the growth of SA artists on the verge of really taking off. 

Fire Through the Window at OppiKoppi 2008

This year's line-up is one of the best I've seen, with acts such as Wrestlerish, Fire Through the Window and Tidal Waves taking the stage. I just know in a year or three I'm going to be so heartily sick of hearing their names, due to rampant success and too much radio time. But right now I can only shout “Woohoo!” and get my bouncy boots on.

The occasional big names make appearances too. This year we can look forward to aKING (a band I still enjoy despite overplayedness, and that consistently delivers fantastic live sets), Zebra & Giraffe and Tumi and the Volume. 2011 really is a fantastic year for SA music.

There are a few names I would have liked to see on the line-up (Isochronous, Desmond & the Tutus and Kidofdoom spring to mind), but there is little by way of disappointment this year.

(I do wonder, however, WTF is up with Potch and Grahamstown? So many DJs, so many embarrassing moments a la Jack Parow. Campus Invasion is a clear case of 'supply and demand' and I'm afraid this just proves Gauteng is full of awesome and the rest of ya'll better catch up. Also that the makers of Campus Invasion know their audience. High five, right there.)

Wherever you may find yourself this February, popping by a Campus Invasion near you is bound to leave your heart bouncing in a joyful fashion. Tickets range from R50 – R80, depending on venue.

Remaining dates

Maties – 4 & 5 February

Cape Town – 11 February

Hatfield – 12 February

Joburg – 18 February

Grahamstown – 24 February

For more info visit the website at http://www.campusinvasion.co.za/

Imogen Heap – Emperor’s Palace, 29 January 2011: Mind-blowing, mesmerising and truly unforgettable

A ball of energy, known widely as Imogen Heap, pops onto the stage, announcing the opening act: Yoav. Out comes Yoav, with his guitar and recording machine and begins what – from start to finish – is an amazingly innovative, mind-blowing and mesmerising set from him and Heap.

Yoav signing autographs

Yoav, born in Israel and raised in South Africa, has caused a furore across the international musical scene over the past few years, achieving milestones such as appearing on the Jools Holland show. Quietly unassuming, he effortlessly records his backing track on the spot by tapping a beat on his guitar and occasionally adding his voice. He then begins strumming over it and finally adds his soulful voice. Funky beats you can’t help tapping your toes to and insightful lyrics characterise Yoav’s songs. He is a musical force to be reckoned with.

Following a raucous standing ovation, Heap returns to the stage, clearly psyched to start her set. A musical fairyland scene ensues – she skips around on stage under her white shining dead tree surrounded by sparkling fairy lights playing her see-through piano, then picking up bells, then lightly brushing a gong, all the while dancing happily and singing out in her clear, distinct voice. You feel as if you are privy to the creation of music, the show is so flowing and dynamic. Various bizarre instruments and household items, such as wine glasses, a saw and even the audience themselves, are recorded right before each song and used to create the backing tracks. One backing track consisted of her family silently standing around a crackling fire at her England home (pre-recorded of course). These unique sounds are effortlessly mingled to form magical melodies right in front of your eyes. It is truly mesmerising, as is Heap’s voice.

Heap is extremely comfortable on stage, and talkative, chatting openly to the audience as if old friends, making for an intimate gig which leaves the audience feeling like they know her a bit better and were privy to a private once-off show. She tells the stories behind some of the songs and randomly murmurs things like “I love my dead tree” in-between songs. She really did love her dead tree.

The beloved dead tree

Between Sheets she described as a song about her lying on a bed here and a man lying there and they had just done something rather amazing. She noted that she wrote it to encourage more in-the-moment moments like that in her life and more men in her bed. While Aha! details a dinner with a friend which involved her cooking a wheat-less, meatless – the list goes on – meal per his request. Following dinner she helped herself to some chocolate chip cookies he could not have as per his strict eating regime, however it did not take him long to sneak a biscuit out of the tin. She apparently found this very hypocritical, noting she could have just cooked steak and sent him on his way. She added that the chorus is actually about a serial killer, which her visitor wasn’t to her knowledge. Little antidotes and quirky insights like these make her exceptionally likeable and accessible – you can’t help but fall in love with her.

It is such a treat to go to a show where both acts, the opening and the main, are evidently excited to be performing and are clearly passionate about their music and enjoy every second of their shows. They both love what they are doing and are deeply proud of their music, putting their all into every single song. And neither has an ounce of pretension or ego. The effort which goes into creating as well as performing each song leaves one deeply grateful and creates an everlasting connection between these singers and their spectators. Truly unforgettable.

Cry me a river, Princesses of Leon

Like I was going to pass up an opportunity to bitch about the Princesses of Leon again.

I don't know why they have to rub it in. We already know they're a bunch of wussies. So now the South African tour is postponed (with no clear answer whether new dates will be set or if it is cancelled altogether) so that dear little Nathan can recover from bicep surgery. That's sweet, but professionals would have found a replacement. If Bon Scott can be replaced, so can bloody Nathan Followill. He's not f*ing Axl Rose, he's a drummer. Get Rick Allen in – he can drum with one arm.

And if the Followills can't possibly go on without their kinsmen, due to them tearing up every time they think of him writing in agony because painkillers are sin, then maybe Allen can just pass on a few tips on one-armed drumming.

Better yet, can the Nightsoilmen of Leon and bring over someone awesome, like Queens of the Stone Age, or Slipknot. Something with substance. Not these overgrown momma's boys. Sies!

The countdown to STRAB 2011 begins

Hurrah! The warm up to STRAB 2011 is here, and that means jam sessions every Monday night, starting on 31 January 2011 at Cafe Barcelona.

For those of you not quite up to speed, STRAB is an annual festival/beach party situated at Ponta Malongane in Mozambique. More chilled than most SA festivals, and a bit cleaner thanks to the ocean, it's a great one to go to for those who aren't all that keen on bush-style hedonism. Don't get me wrong, there's plenty hedonism. But this is beach-style.

The 2011 festival takes place from 26 – 29 May. Bookings open on 31 January and tickets tend to go fast. Accommodation varies from camping to log cabins, depending on your own level of bundu-affinity.

Each year marks an interesting mix of both known and unknown artists. The good people at STRAB focus heavily on the quality of the choons provided, and seldom disappoint. It's a great opportunity to learn some new things and experience a slightly different vibe. It is a nzima party.

To keep up with developments for the festival or for more details, join their facebook group or check out the new website at http://www.strab.co.za/.

The jam sessions feature SA up-and-comers, shows billed to start at 7, but you know how these things go. Cafe Barcelona is offering food and drinks specials on the nights, so you may as well make an evening of it. Make a point to check out at least some of the gigs, and support local music.

RAMFest 2011 line-up announced

 RAMFest has announced their local lineup and it's looking to be a doozy. We're especially excited about appearances by Desmond and the Tutus, TUMI, Isochronous, Wrestlerish and Haggis & Bong. International acts are still to be confirmed, but at this rate, who needs 'em? We don't need to talk up RAMFest, the line-up speaks for itself. So check it out below.


RAMFest will be at Nekkies Holiday Resort, Worcester from 4 - 6 March; Wavehouse, Durban on 9 March; and Riversands Farm, Fourways on 12 March. Tickets range from R100 - R450, depending on type of admission and location and are available from Ticketweb. For further info visit http://www.ramfest.co.za/#/home or their Facebook page www.facebook.com/group.php?gid=2370253548.

Main Stage - Hosted by John Vlismas
Not My Dog
Die Antwoord
Gazelle
Zebra & Giraffe
Van Coke Kartel
Ashtray Electric
The Revelators
TUMi
Isochronous
The Great Apes
Wrestlerish
7th Son
Bittereinder
Blk Jks
Desmond & The Tutus
Mr Cat & The Jackal
Stepdog
The Pretty Blue Guns
Ree - Burth
Dance, You're on Fire
The Sleepers
Lonely Dave Ferguson
Mix N Blend (Live)

Tented stage by Meta4 Africa
Mind Assault
Contrast The Water
Knave
Down on the First
Sabretooth
The Dead Will Tell
Enmity
Moment of Clarity
The Broken Result
Infanteria
Haggis & Bong
Symphonic Schizophrenia
Juggernaught
Theatre Runs Red
A Walk With The Wicked
Axxon

Electronic pyramid by Griet
Tom Deluxx (Fra)
Haezer
B-Team
Double Adapter
Hyphen
SFR
Niskerone
Toby2Shoes
Psydstep
Frequency
Battle Beyond The Stars
Enough Weapons
El Gordo
Liver
Ill Tastic
Haasbroek
Tommy Gun
FunaFuji
Mr Sakitumi
Bruce WIllis
Jam Jar
P.H Fat
Counterstrike
Mr. Bong
Fletcher
Sedge Warbler

Wrestlerish for Best Newcomer 2010

It was a happy day when BlindBlimp happened upon Wrestlerish, supporting some other local talent at a chilled dive in Pretoria late 2009ish.

Pioneering the return of flannel - Wrestlerish

So happy was the day – and so energetically entertaining was Wrestlerish – that I have completely forgotten who they were supporting.

The reasoning behind the name becomes obvious when these talented lads take to the stage. At first glance they do rather come across as a collection of Breekers (half of them, at least). But the atmosphere quickly lightens as they break joyfully into their set.

We have had the pleasure of seeing Wrestlerish live on numerous occasions since that fateful day, and they have yet to disappoint. Their sets are consistently good and never fail to provide peppy, feel-good entertainment.

Their debut album, The Rude Mechanical, is worth a listen, with tracks that are smooth, exuberant, pure and energetic. Of course there's a little sorrow thrown in for good measure. Real sing-along stuff, guaranteed to make traffic a little easier to bear. Pop/rock with a bit of a folky undertone, it's a playful little thing that you will love forever.

And now they are up for Best Newcomer 2010 in the MK Awards. And bugger me if they don't deserve it! Vote by SMSing 5E to 33693.

Good luck, lads! SA Indie is in your hands.

NERD in SA, courtesy of HANSA

First the good news – Pharrell Williams and N.E.R.D will be performing in South Africa in February 2011. The rumours say it will be happening on the 12^th, but this is unconfirmed. Happiness is!

Pharrell and N.E.R.D. at a US gig

The good people at Hansa will be bringing these lauded performers – famous for their innovation and attitude – to South Africa as part of the Legends in the Making tour. It comprises 15 shows featuring the likes of Malaika, Zuluboy and DMOS. Pharrell and N.E.R.D will be gracing the final show of the tour.

The bad news is that if you're not a big Hansa fan, you're unlikely to get to go. Tickets will not be on sale. You can win entrance with a code featured on the underliner of Hansa bottle caps. Being spotted drinking a Hansa could make you a winner, and selected radio stations will be having competitions too.

One assumes the demon 5FM will be involved somehow. Much like the devil, it seems to have a finger in every pie. I am loath to encourage people to listen to the travesty that is, though. Rather drink a Hansa or six. And be there to cheer N.E.R.D on as SA's international appeal grows.

The Unshakeable Chill, Courtesy of Tings - 4 Dec 2010

The perennially cool hangout known as Tings ’n Times turned 15 on 4 December 2010 and celebrated with a mengelmoes of live acts, Afro-entertainment and, for some reason, clowns.

I could have done without the clowns.

For those not in the loop, Tings (as it is affectionately known) is a laid back bar-come-band venue in Hatfield, Pretoria. In traditional Hatfield fashion, the booze is cheap and the food (somewhat less traditionally) is excellent. But Tings is all about the vibe and it consistently hosts the best intimate live gigs this side of anywhere.

It goes without saying that its birthday would be celebrated in style. The good people at Tings expanded outside its usual borders into the back courtyard and out into the street.

The intentions were good. The evening featured the likes of Scicoustic, Kidofdoom and Boo! (Miss Chameleon made a welcome appearance), a drum circle and fire dancing in the back courtyard and the usual service with attitude. By 6 pm we had hit a level of chill that could not be shaken. It was rock solid.

This may be a good thing, because operations were not running smoothly. (The rather shaky operations did not deter the performing bands - who like most successful SA bands are good in adversity and know how to compensate for a less than stellar sound situation.) By the time Boo! appeared the sound system was in a bad way and little was still working. Miss Chameleon went as far as to say that it was Boo!’s best worst gig ever. But this hardly mattered, considering the level of placid contentment that we had reached. The Chill was unshakeable. The happiness stood strong. And only at Tings could such a thing happen.

Having had dozens of amazing gig experiences at Tings up to this point (including a stellar Boo! gig at the beginning of the year), forgiveness for the minor f*** up was readily forthcoming. We stuck around for a few more drinks, bonded with waiters and patrons – all at an equal level of Unshakeable Chill – and mosied off, still in a mild state of euphoria.

Happy birthday Tings! May there be many more!

And the dregs keep coming

Roxette? Seriously? ROXETTE?
I realise there's a certain nostalgic charm to the band, and will after a few bottles of vodka get on the dance floor and shake my ass to She's Got the Look, but only at weddings as it tends to be a better option to the rest of the play list.
The fact that people are actually paying to see these aged pseudo-rockers is more than a little depressing. I can only comfort myself by remembering that the threatened Duran Duran show had to be cancelled because they couldn't sell enough tickets. Apparently South Africans do draw the line somewhere, but why this after buying Roxette tickets is beyond me.
Harping on about this is almost pointless, as clearly tickets have sold and people are going. Why? Well, this is the country that gave birth to both Jack Parow and Die Antwoord. Sometimes being South African is just embarrassing. 
If we have to have bands that haven't done anything new since the 80s but insist on touring anyway in SA, can't we get Alice Cooper over here? Now that would be worth watching. - C

Kings of Leon to horribly disappoint SA fans

I am so sick of hearing how incredibly excited silly girls are that the Kings of Leon are coming to South Africa. They are not. The Kings of Leon died a horrible death on the release of Only By the Night and their rotting carcasses were usurped by a band of simpering pussies. Those silly little girls wouldn't even know who the hell the Kings are (they still don't, not really) if one of their singles didn't happen to have 'sex' in the title.

As if the trite, popularised bullshit that was Only By the Night wasn't bad enough, these usurpers of the throne have pissed out what is easily the most boring album ever made by anyone – Come Around Sundown. And yes, I'm including Celine Dion. What's next? Raindrops on Roses? Whiskers on Kittens? Try to keep a little dignity, you sorry wankers.

The first single off the album, Radioactive, is beyond disappointing and frankly is no different from the twelve other mindless, insipid, dull tracks on this excuse for an album. The video is just as bad. Social consciousness is all good and well, but from the likes of KOL – a band that started out with a truly authentic voice – it just inspires mild queasiness. A small black child in the arms of a gruff Southern type such as Caleb Followill should inspire fear and trepidation, not embarrassment. It certainly does not inspire compassion.

This new wave of KOL arsewater is without a doubt the final nail in their already studded coffin. What happened to the raw power of Four Kicks? The sordid despair of Trani? The savage fury of Joe's Head? Hell, I'd take the smutty angst of I Want You over the indifferent balls up that is Come Around Sundown. And I use the word 'balls' in the only way it can now be used in relation to KOL.

And now these washed up losers, devoid of any validity or integrity, are finally coming to South Africa. And they expect us to cough up close to R600 for a golden circle ticket? Maybe in 2005, when the Followills had more backbone than sense. Or when a few pigeon droppings wouldn't have scared them off stage. Perhaps the saddest of all is that those tickets have sold out. Sometimes the masses really are depressing.

One can't help but feel the pigeons of St Louis had a point. Poo on you, Kings of Leon. Grow your hair back, stop bathing, do a few bumps with that trannie at the bus station and perhaps, like Samson, your awesome powers will return too. - C

Feeder live at The Bassline, Newtown - 28 November 2010

Now I have to admit, Feeder is not in my top ten list of all time favourite bands. They're just so friggin happy. They did get me through my UK gap year with the wonders of Just a Day, though. So when I heard that they were playing a gig at the Bassline in Newtown I knew – the time to hesitate is through. And I was not disappointed.

Taka Hirose and new SA drummer-type

Their special brand of grunge meets pep translates wonderfully to the stage and Grant Nicholas (lead vocals and guitar) is an unstoppable pocket rocket of euphoria. He is the epitome of fun and professionalism (which is vital for a band used to touring the first world when faced with a gig in SA). He just doesn't stop.

Bassist Taka Hirose is just adorable (They're tiny, OK? I could fit one in each pocket and be the happiest girl in the world). He doesn't miss a beat and clearly enjoys what he does.

The set itself was flawless, and surprisingly heavy considering the exuberance of their better-known choons (Buck Rogers, anyone?). They wrapped up their extensive playlist, covering the classics and a few choons off the new album Renegades, with a cover of Nirvana's Breed, which firmly cemented Feeder in my mind as 100% nzima. It was fan-fucking-tastic to be able to jump around like a lunatic for an entire show again. And without any alcoholic assistance, I might ad. It's not surprising that they're one of the UK's favourite acts. I can't wait for the return.

I have to give a shoutout to The Bassline as a venue, too. I am a fan of Newtown, and The Bassline is one of the reasons for this. I struggle to find anything to detract from what was a phenomenal evening. As SA venues go, it gets a 10. - C

For more on Feeder: http://www.feederweb.com/